Katie smiled into the camera, “Good evening. I’m Katie, your favorite ‘Damsel in Distress,’ welcome back to the newest installment of the web’s most infamous and long-running torture porn webcast, ‘Vintage Lingerie Peril, the Statue.’”
“Tonight, the sponsors have decided to hold another silent auction, this time to decide my fate for the next twelve months. After I complete this opening monologue, the bidding will begin. You will have fifteen minutes to place your bids. As you can see, the minimum bid is one hundred thousand dollars with the current high bid displayed at the bottom of your screen.”
“You may have noticed that I’m standing within a glass enclosure. This device is the newest development by the researchers at the Resort’s lab. It’s a carbonite preservation system designed to encase anything placed inside this cylinder with a thin, almost indestructible coating of carbonite. You may have also noticed that my body hasn’t moved in the slightest other than giving this monologue. That’s because the technicians injected me with a drug procured from a recently deceased artist’s effects, a drug initially developed by the European Space Agency known as Hiberzine. Intended to put the user into suspended animation, it also has the side effect of causing total and complete body rigidity. The technicians assured me that I’d have enough time before the drug fully took effect to finish this monologue.”
“So, as usual, tonight’s high bidder will have the choice. Thumbs-up, an all-inclusive six-month stay at the Resort, or thumbs-down, I get sprayed with carbonite and spend the next twelve months as a decorative statue in his study or man-cave.”
Struggling to smile, as she felt her face starting to stiffen, Katie finished her monologue, “So, let the bidding begin.”
Waiting to see what the final bidder would decide, I noticed an unexpected side effect. While fully paralyzed, I remained conscious and fully aware of my surroundings. It seemed surreal, I could still see, but I couldn’t move my eyes or blink.
I was just wondering about my hearing when I heard a loud hiss. I had a brief, fleeting moment of realization that I would be spending the next twelve months as a statue, as a cloud of green gas swirled around me, painfully stinging my skin, then darkness.
I’m unsure how much time has elapsed, sealed within my indestructible coating of carbonite, cut off from all outside stimuli. I have no way to judge the passage of time. I only hope that when they finally unseal me, I’ll still have my sanity.
Well, that, and at least I can take comfort knowing that I make an incredibly sexy-looking statue...