Like most Caribbean islands, the Resort caters to a diverse range of guests. The south side of the island has accommodations ranging from beachfront all-inclusive hotels with restaurants and nightclubs, some for vanilla guests, others for guests seeking a more fetish-themed experience.

However, isolated by mountainous terrain from the more public accommodations on the islandís south side, the Resortís vacation club is to the north, where the accommodations are for vacation club members and the clubís supporting staff.

Vacation club accommodations range from one- or two-bedroom villas with central living areas and infinity pools overlooking the sea to larger villas for members planning to stay through the winter season or residing at the vacation club full-time.

I purchased this villa over twenty years ago, which, at ten thousand square feet, is only a quarter of the size of my mansion in South Carolina, but for a Caribbean island, it qualifies as one. I live here throughout the winter season, with plans to move here permanently sometime in the future. Oh, and thereís nothing vanilla about my villa. From the candle holders, made from real human skulls, that light the steps down to my patio with its infinity pool to the main bedroom suite that looks like the Marquis de Sade decorated it. It even has a private, well-furnished torture chamber modeled after the Spanish Inquisitionís dungeon in Seville, Spain.

And, while I enjoy the torturous delights available at the Resortís north tower, some nights, I prefer to stay home and avail myself of the services of one of the Resortís professional torturers, a staff of cruel, sadistic fiends anonymous beneath their face-concealing leather hoods. This evening, Iím hoping they send a diabolical monster, one whoíll force me to endure long hours of unrelenting torment that will ultimately culminate in my brutal, agonizingly torturous death.

Who knows, tomorrow, after awakening at one of the Resortís regeneration centers, I may decide to stay home another delightful night and, perhaps, request the same torturer again...