“The mind of man is forever at the service of evil. Here at the Resort, our scientists strive to perfect new and obscenely creative instruments of torturous death. Of course, for many of our guests, the old ways are still the best. Believe me our ancestors had imaginations that were positively diabolic.”

“Good evening and welcome back to the Resort Network’s newest reality show, ‘Positively Diabolic.’ I’m Monica and tonight, with the help of the Resort’s staff of diabolically talented torturers, I’m going to demonstrate one of our ancestor’s most creatively fiendish instruments of torturous death, the ‘Judas Cradle.’”

“Conceived of at the height of the Inquisition, in sixteenth-century Spain, the ‘Judas Cradle’ was a fiendishly cruel instrument of torture originally intended to extract confessions of heresy, the accused forced down until the cradles pyramid-shaped seat, the seat’s sharp-pointed tip impaling them either anally or virginally. However, over time, the ‘Judas Cradle’ evolved into one of the Inquisition’s most feared instruments of torturous death, its victims rarely surviving their brutal interrogations.”

Pausing to wrap her fingers suggestively around the Cradle’s sharply pointed iron tip, Monica smiled, “As you can see, over time the shape of the Cradle’s seat evolved, its short wide shape gradually becoming slender and tall. This particular Judas Cradle is an exact replica of one, which in the late seventeenth-century graced the Inquisition’s dungeons in Madrid. Interestingly, according to the Inquisition’s detailed records, most of the women, unfortunate enough to die upon this delightfully torturous instrument of agonizing death, lingered in unrelenting torment for almost two full days before eventually dying.”

A dark, almost mirthful grin appeared on Monica’s face, “Of course, the Resort staff and I have a few side bets as to just how long I’ll survive. Personally, I’m hoping to last at least 48 hours, a death this positively diabolic should be enjoyed...”