“One of the things I love most about the Resort is all the horrifying instruments of slow agonizingly torturous death contained within
its diabolically well-equipped dungeons. Every night, I try to imagine the unspeakably agonizing torment that I’m helplessly fated to endure,
and yet as hard as I try, the brutal reality of the Resort's dungeons always has a way of diabolically exceeding even my darkly masochistic
imagination. Someday, I’d like to thank the creators of the Resort’s instruments of torturous death for their positively diabolic imaginations,
but perhaps not tonight...”