Since joining the Resortís exclusive Vacation Club, Iíve experienced so many delightful and darkly seductive surprises, and last night was no different. I recall asking, ďOh my, is that really an authentic seventeenth-century Spanish Rapier?Ē

My host for the evening, a rather distinguished looking older gentleman, smiled with an evil glint of diabolic anticipation in his eyes as he replied, ďSi," just before using that Rapier to run me through, a sudden brief gasp of agonizing pain escaping my lips, as I felt the horrifying sensation of cold sharp steel sliding effortlessly through my guts. Oh, and being such a kind and considerate host that he was, once that Rapierís razor-sharp blade was completely through me, he cruelly paused to twist it back and forth within my guts. His thoughtful attention to the details of my suffering, vastly heightening my exquisitely painful torment as I hung there, the basket hilt of his authentic seventeenth-century Spanish Rapier pressed firmly against my fatally violated belly, as I slowly died in unrelenting agony for his amusement.