“Good evening and welcome into the ranks of the Resort’s excusive Vacation Club, the place where all your darkest desires come to life, I’m Darcy a member of the Club and your host for this part of your Vacation Club orientation. While there are many differently themed perilous delights here at the Resort, my personal favorite has always been the medieval torture chambers of the Resort’s North Tower. Once, a fortress standing guard on a hilltop along Germany’s Baltic coast, the Resort’s staff carefully disassembled the North Tower and brought it to the island, where they lovingly restored it to its former glory. This chamber, on the tower’s third floor, was used as guard barracks, but as you can see has been cleverly re-purposed as another of the tower’s infamous torture chambers, so many delightfully diabolic instruments of torture that even after twenty-seven years as a Vacation Club member, I still haven’t experienced them all.”

Pausing to take a sip from her wine, “Of course, one of the perks that came with your Vacation Club membership is access to the Resort’s regeneration facilities. Personally, back in ’91, when I first joined the Vacation Club, I was already seventy-three years old. And, while over the years, I’m toyed with my appearance, for the past decade or so, I’ve settled on my current persona, an erotically enhanced version of what I looked like when I was about thirty.”

Smiling into the camera suggestively, “So, if you happen to run into me at one of the Resort’s nightclubs, please whisper into my ear that you’d like to take me to the North Tower. I’m always up for some hedonistic debauchery and of course, making both our darkest desires come to life even if it kills me.”

The audience could clearly see the flush of sexual arousal in Darcy’s lovely face as she concluded, “Oh, and especially if it kills me...”