“There are legends of ghostly knights who dwell in these ancient catacombs. Evil knights who committed unspeakable atrocities during the crusades, atrocities so vile that the church condemned them to be buried alive in the darkest depths of these ancient catacombs, the location of their graves known only by the city’s bishop, who took that secret to his grave.”

“The legends also say all who discover the resting place of these knights will never be heard from again. The tales do not mention what happens to male explorers. I assume the ghostly knights murder them when they become aware of their presence. However, women explorers aren’t nearly so lucky. These women face the same atrocities that condemned those ancient knights, long hours, if not days, of brutal rape and obscenely gruesome torture before finally being put to the sword.”

“Ghostly evil knights, incredibly violent rape, agonizingly gruesome torture, a slow, obscenely painful death, and the likely possibility of necrophilia. That’s the reason why I’ve been coming down into these catacombs night after night. After all, what more could a masochistic pain slut with a profound death wish truthfully desire?”