Beverley never really thought about it, but it seems like women are always disappearing around here and sadly for her, she finally knows why. It turns out Hill’s Fine Meats, one of the largest butcher shops in the area, has a large and discriminating clientele of wealthy cannibals.

“When they hired me as a meat girl for their new commercial, I’d assumed I would be staring in a television advertisement for Hill’s Meats. Asked to change into this revealing outfit, Mister Hill himself led me downstairs into their butcher shop’s processing area where he secured my wrists in these wall-mounted restraints before explaining what it truly meant to be a Hill’s meat girl.”

“He explained that the first step was to cut me open, a shallow incision running from the underside of my sternum all the way down to my crotch. Placing a bucket beneath me, he’ll push his hands inside my belly and start pulling out my intestines, spilling them into the waiting bucket for later processing into sausage casings.”

“With my intestines removed he’ll proceed to remove my uterus, ovaries, stomach, liver, kidneys, spleen and pancreases, carefully setting them aside for later processing. Only then will he cut upward through my diaphragm and remove my heart. He even assured me that the last thing I’d see before I die will be him holding my still beating heart in his hands.”

“He went on to explain that the process would take about ten minutes, from cutting me open to removing my heart. Oddly, he actually looked almost apologetic as he explained just how much this was going to hurt. It turns out experiencing agonizing pain in the final moments of her life causes a woman’s brain to release critical endorphins that enhance the succulent flavor of her flesh.”

“Anyway, after I’m dead, he’ll push hooks behind the tendons of my ankles and hang my body by its ankles within their meat cooler, allowing my meat to age for forty-eight hours, before carving me up into roasts and steaks. With any remaining edible bit's ground up and combined with their secret herb mix, turned into sausages using my own small intestines as casings. And finally, any last inedible bits and pieces of me, disposed of within their incinerator.”

“Honestly, while I’m still a little apprehensive about my perilously agonizing fate, if I’d known what it truly meant to be a Hill’s meat girl, I’d have happily volunteered years ago...”