“Good evening Jason, I can see in your eyes that you don’t expect that I stay behind after closing time tonight. Back when we were still married I never truly understood your fascination with the exhibits in this part of the museum, all these ancient instruments of torture and death. But, now that we’re divorced I’ve had time to reconsider and like you I’ve become quite fascinated with the dark blood-soaked history of these ancient diabolical instruments of terror, so many utterly terrifying ways to die all gathered in this one museum.”

“I found that Iron Maiden near the entrance particularly intriguing, was it really used to execute hundreds of adulterous women? And that iron impalement post, was it actually used by the Ottoman Empire’s royal executioner to dispose of the emperor’s unwanted concubines? Still, while compelling, didn’t it usually take days for their victims to die? Which is why I found this iron spiked death press so interesting, and do you know how hard it was to raise those iron spikes? Still, all you need to do now is press that release handle and those heavy spikes will come crashing down and according to the description I’ll only last an hour or so before I die. That should leave you plenty of time to enjoy watching me die and still leave time to clean up the mess and dispose of my mutilated remains before the museum re-opens in the morning.”

Seeing the sudden cold look of understanding in her ex’s eyes, Sandy smiled as she continued, “Or, do you really want to spend the rest of your life paying me alimony?”